Writing for Myself
It’s been a while since I last wrote something for this site. God that fucking sucks. I so desperately wanted to write every week so that I could finally feel confident in my writing, and yet here we are, 147 days later and I’ve written nothing. 147 days. 21 weeks. Almost 5 months. I’ve tried writing since my last piece, but I just haven’t been able to finish anything. I’ve been paralyzed with fear over…what exactly? Judgment? Criticism? Failure? A lack of validation? Disappointment in myself? More ghosts from my past resurfacing just to make themselves known? I don’t know what I want to say, and yet I still want to say it. I have no goal, nothing specific that I’m trying to accomplish, no argument I’m going to defend with poorly constructed sentences and half-baked versions of other people’s thoughts. I want to have my own thoughts, my own views on things and not be afraid to share them. I want to have something of value to share with the world, some viewpoint that is unique or wort